Ah, the newest season of Jersey Shore. And now we embark on a whole new adventure with what’s her face, Snookie? and who’s his butt, The “Situation”? Are those the right names?

I have to admit, I have watched the show once, and I felt stupider after just ten minutes. Jersey Shore is nothing but half an hour (if that) of shouting, drinking, cursing, and generally behaving like five-year-olds. What continues to confuse me is, why are people watching this junk?

How interesting can it be to watch Snookie get drunk on the beach and act like a moron? How fun can it be to watch The Situation try to nail three different girls in one night? Has America really fallen so low that our idea of entertainment is to watch others throw their lives away?

On Halloween, I went to a party at an event center here in Colorado. Every other girl was dressed up with her wig in a poof, too much make-up on, and sporting a fake tan. Let me tell you how proud I am of our youth for emulating such an upstanding American character.

For those of you who love Jersey Shore, whatever you like is what you like. Everyone has their muse. But please do remember: we DON’T live on the shore, so for the love of God, don’t act like it.